Of all the problems faced by us today, social ego is one that is seemingly intolerable. By the words "social ego" I mean to say the ego of the society. For instance, I would like to share some of the dialogues that we keep listening or situations we come across very often.I am talking in the Indian context, don't know how things are in the rest of the world.
" Mrs.X : My daughter joined in the engineering course, what about yours?
Mrs.Y: My daughter wants to do a course in humanities and sciences.
Mrs.X : What!!!!(with a sarcastic smile). Such courses don't have any value today."
After this conversation, Y wouldn't want her daughter to take any other course except engineering because she feels everything else other than that is useless and a waste of time. If the daughter opposes, then she would tell that this is the current day's trend, so we have to go with it. Who created this trend? Why do we need a hell lot of engineers who study without knowing why they are studying?.
"Mr. A: How can we get our girls married without giving dowry, jewellery and other gifts to the marriage party? It's impossible.
Mr.B (may not be so rich as A): Nods his head vaguely."
Not only from Mr.A, but Mr.B might have heard this from many others as well. Finally when the time comes for his daughter's marriage, by nook or crook he will arrange the money and later suffer from debt or poverty. Here Mr.A might have delivered only his opinion, but that makes a big impression on the other. This doesn't stop with these two. It continues like a chain. Those who can afford will never leave any stone unturned to please the bridegroom's family and those who cannot afford they are forced by the society to fulfill their demands just because it has become a "universal rule"
" Mrs.C: What is your son doing?
Mrs.D: He is working in a government firm.
Mrs.C: Means, he can't earn much, isn't it?
Mrs.D: Nothing like that, he is getting a good amount, sufficient for his family. He is a happy man.
Mrs.C: What happiness.....poor fellow, really it takes ages for him to pool a handsome amount of bank balance. My son works in an MNC, he is placed in campus. He is paid well. If you want I can tell my son to recommend your son for a job in his company. "
This is self explanatory😃.
"Mrs.E: I heard that your daughter's marriage is fixed. Congrats. By the way, why are you still sending her to job, make her resign and teach her all the house hold chores.
Mrs.F: All that is her wish. I am not the one to decide."
"Ms.G: Hey, are you working or still at home?
Ms.H: Right now I am at home. Things are going well. I am a very happy and contented person. By God's grace I don't have a dearth for anything in life. So waiting to see what is in store for me.
Ms.G: (With sarcasm) That's cool.
Ms.G with Ms.Z
Ms.G: H seems different. Her thoughts and everything are beyond my understanding. Moreover she doesn't even work. She seems very intelligent but not worthy.
Ms.Z: Smiles (both gossip and waste time)."
Another beautiful society's norm that is very harmful is: "talk less about yourself and more about others", "pay less attention to your business and more attention to others' ".
"Mr.M: My son got 98%, what about your son?
Mr.N: My son scored 87%.
Mr.M: Oh. Haven't you enquired why he scored less? Everyone got more than 95 this time.
Mr.N with son
Mr.N: (shouts)Why don't you study? Every time games and fun.Because of you I have to bow down my head in front of my colleagues.
Son: But....father, 87% is a good score itseems, my teacher told.
Mr.N: They will tell....if at all they know how to teach..........................."
And the consequences could vary from tantrums to suicides.
If I keep telling there are many more, we all know. Every time I look around myself and come across such things, I doubt what are we heading for. Many times we get criticized, commented, trolled or tolled for being what we are. No, rather for not being what others are. In the first case that I mentioned we can see that, a non-engineer is criticised for studying something else. Similarly, a working woman criticises a home-maker for not being independent like her. A fellow working in MNC laughs at another who works for the government just because he believes what he does alone is right and others are wrong. An NRI doesn't find a non NRI successful. A rich fellow considers a middle-incomer unworthy. A girl respecting her culture is made fun of by her friends just because she is not like them.
We always tend to think that whatever we do is the best. There's nothing wrong if it stops here, but problem comes when we think that what others are doing is useless or unworthy. How ignorant we are, isn't it?.Society's ego is driving us crazily and we are in the spirit of an unhealthy competition. Physics tells us that there is nothing absolute or ultimate in this world.Also, we are a speck in this mighty creation. With respect to space, all the circus we do happens within the shortest gap of an inhalation and an exhalation.I think we shouldn't forget this. We may be having some powers to make choices in life, but we are neither the masters of our lives nor the creation. This moment we exhale and the next moment if we are unable to inhale there ends everything. In this very short span of life we should consciously decide what we are heading towards. In this process each of us tend to set our own priorities and work for those. As no two persons can be same, their priorities also cannot be same. As we all know diversity is the characteristic of the creation. When priorities are not same, the paths we choose to reach our respective destinations also needn't be same. That doesn't mean ours is the right way and all the others are wrong. Another most important thing, a person's worth is not measured in terms of his income but on how he conducts himself.
Some work for material possession, some for happiness, some for the ultimate joy, some for satisfaction, etc. Some crawl, some walk, some run, some fall, some rise,some fly. What difference it is makes in our lives that we ought to persuade them to come into our way?.
If you compete, you'll tend to win the race and you will end up being alone. If you travel, you tend to go with your fellow passengers and life will be a game. So, what shall we choose?
Criticism or appreciation of diversity?
Social ego or social responsibility?
Unhealthy competition or a beautiful journey?
© Written by Manaswini Pasumarthi
" Mrs.X : My daughter joined in the engineering course, what about yours?
Mrs.Y: My daughter wants to do a course in humanities and sciences.
Mrs.X : What!!!!(with a sarcastic smile). Such courses don't have any value today."
After this conversation, Y wouldn't want her daughter to take any other course except engineering because she feels everything else other than that is useless and a waste of time. If the daughter opposes, then she would tell that this is the current day's trend, so we have to go with it. Who created this trend? Why do we need a hell lot of engineers who study without knowing why they are studying?.
"Mr. A: How can we get our girls married without giving dowry, jewellery and other gifts to the marriage party? It's impossible.
Mr.B (may not be so rich as A): Nods his head vaguely."
Not only from Mr.A, but Mr.B might have heard this from many others as well. Finally when the time comes for his daughter's marriage, by nook or crook he will arrange the money and later suffer from debt or poverty. Here Mr.A might have delivered only his opinion, but that makes a big impression on the other. This doesn't stop with these two. It continues like a chain. Those who can afford will never leave any stone unturned to please the bridegroom's family and those who cannot afford they are forced by the society to fulfill their demands just because it has become a "universal rule"
" Mrs.C: What is your son doing?
Mrs.D: He is working in a government firm.
Mrs.C: Means, he can't earn much, isn't it?
Mrs.D: Nothing like that, he is getting a good amount, sufficient for his family. He is a happy man.
Mrs.C: What happiness.....poor fellow, really it takes ages for him to pool a handsome amount of bank balance. My son works in an MNC, he is placed in campus. He is paid well. If you want I can tell my son to recommend your son for a job in his company. "
This is self explanatory😃.
"Mrs.E: I heard that your daughter's marriage is fixed. Congrats. By the way, why are you still sending her to job, make her resign and teach her all the house hold chores.
Mrs.F: All that is her wish. I am not the one to decide."
"Ms.G: Hey, are you working or still at home?
Ms.H: Right now I am at home. Things are going well. I am a very happy and contented person. By God's grace I don't have a dearth for anything in life. So waiting to see what is in store for me.
Ms.G: (With sarcasm) That's cool.
Ms.G with Ms.Z
Ms.G: H seems different. Her thoughts and everything are beyond my understanding. Moreover she doesn't even work. She seems very intelligent but not worthy.
Ms.Z: Smiles (both gossip and waste time)."
Another beautiful society's norm that is very harmful is: "talk less about yourself and more about others", "pay less attention to your business and more attention to others' ".
"Mr.M: My son got 98%, what about your son?
Mr.N: My son scored 87%.
Mr.M: Oh. Haven't you enquired why he scored less? Everyone got more than 95 this time.
Mr.N with son
Mr.N: (shouts)Why don't you study? Every time games and fun.Because of you I have to bow down my head in front of my colleagues.
Son: But....father, 87% is a good score itseems, my teacher told.
Mr.N: They will tell....if at all they know how to teach..........................."
And the consequences could vary from tantrums to suicides.
If I keep telling there are many more, we all know. Every time I look around myself and come across such things, I doubt what are we heading for. Many times we get criticized, commented, trolled or tolled for being what we are. No, rather for not being what others are. In the first case that I mentioned we can see that, a non-engineer is criticised for studying something else. Similarly, a working woman criticises a home-maker for not being independent like her. A fellow working in MNC laughs at another who works for the government just because he believes what he does alone is right and others are wrong. An NRI doesn't find a non NRI successful. A rich fellow considers a middle-incomer unworthy. A girl respecting her culture is made fun of by her friends just because she is not like them.
We always tend to think that whatever we do is the best. There's nothing wrong if it stops here, but problem comes when we think that what others are doing is useless or unworthy. How ignorant we are, isn't it?.Society's ego is driving us crazily and we are in the spirit of an unhealthy competition. Physics tells us that there is nothing absolute or ultimate in this world.Also, we are a speck in this mighty creation. With respect to space, all the circus we do happens within the shortest gap of an inhalation and an exhalation.I think we shouldn't forget this. We may be having some powers to make choices in life, but we are neither the masters of our lives nor the creation. This moment we exhale and the next moment if we are unable to inhale there ends everything. In this very short span of life we should consciously decide what we are heading towards. In this process each of us tend to set our own priorities and work for those. As no two persons can be same, their priorities also cannot be same. As we all know diversity is the characteristic of the creation. When priorities are not same, the paths we choose to reach our respective destinations also needn't be same. That doesn't mean ours is the right way and all the others are wrong. Another most important thing, a person's worth is not measured in terms of his income but on how he conducts himself.
Some work for material possession, some for happiness, some for the ultimate joy, some for satisfaction, etc. Some crawl, some walk, some run, some fall, some rise,some fly. What difference it is makes in our lives that we ought to persuade them to come into our way?.
If you compete, you'll tend to win the race and you will end up being alone. If you travel, you tend to go with your fellow passengers and life will be a game. So, what shall we choose?
Criticism or appreciation of diversity?
Social ego or social responsibility?
Unhealthy competition or a beautiful journey?
© Written by Manaswini Pasumarthi
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